All Press Releases

Phantom Seen by Janitor in Manager's Office

1/1/2014  3 replies    

Simon Says "Goodbye" to Clams

12/15/2013  4 replies    

Eaton, Mezzetti Join Century Club

10/22/2013  4 replies    

Clams Stall in Regular Season, but Hoist Invite Trophy

9/10/2013  0 replies    

Whitmore Crashes Board(s)

5/7/2013  0 replies    

Stealing Victory from the Jaws of Defeat Stolen from the Jaws of Victory

2/23/2013  0 replies    

Campioni Headed to Italy, Clams' HOF

12/15/2012  0 replies    

Drunken Clams Thirsty for a Ssn 22 Championship

11/28/2012  1 replies    

Clams Sponsor New Hospital Wing, Thanks to Opponent Thuggery

10/23/2012  0 replies    

Clams Coast Into All-Star Break

10/9/2012  0 replies    

3x3 Goes 5x5

9/14/2012  0 replies    

Mascotball

8/3/2012  4 replies    

Clams Jettison Janky Logo

6/22/2012  2 replies    

Clams End Conference Series with Road Win at McKinney Arena

6/11/2012  0 replies    

Clams Settle into New Digs

5/31/2012  0 replies    

Clams Retool for Div. IV

5/16/2012  0 replies    

Drunken Clams Win Championship Headed for Div. IV

5/13/2012  0 replies    

Scandal Rocked Clams Go 1-1 in Championship Series

5/12/2012  0 replies    

Clams Take First Game of League V.7 Finals

5/12/2012  0 replies    

Clams Looking to Claim Trophy

4/21/2012  0 replies    

Four Clams to Represent Big 8 in All-Star Game

3/26/2012  0 replies    

Week in Review: Clams Peter Out in Prime Time

3/23/2012  0 replies    

Week in Review: USA Div. V PL Starts

3/17/2012  0 replies    

Week in Review: Clams' Cup Chances Crushed

3/9/2012  0 replies    

Clams Claim Conference Coup

3/4/2012  0 replies    

"Il Mollusco" and the S19 Clams

3/1/2012  0 replies    

Drunken Clams Franchise Created!

10/20/2011  0 replies    

Press Announcements

Clams Sponsor New Hospital Wing, Thanks to Opponent Thuggery

Ever since Jerry Talbert took out Valtinho Louzano's knee in the Murfreesboro game, Clams management has gotten to know the healthcare system in Anchor Bay very well. And just when Louzano got healthy enough to play again, Kuk Eng Hua took a hard shot from Juan Camilo Cárdenas in a scrimmage with the Columbian team, DallaMas. And then this last Saturday, uthinkuknow thug Bryan Stark cold clocked Michael Christiansson as he went up for a jumper in the first quarter. Clam fans held their breath for the 14 seconds that Christiansson lay motionless on the hardwood floor of the center of attention. But he managed to walk out to the locker room with the help of a trainer under each arm. And then in Tuesday night's game, Boyd Eaton suffered a bruised kidney when Kev Myles tackled him to defend a jump shot from way out of position.

With the fourth major injury of the season, the Clams were contacted by the board of St. Mary's Hospital of Anchor Bay. It turns out that medical bills from the string of injuries and their necessary state-of-the-art rehab have made the Clams attain the level of "major donor" to the hospital. And with the donation of a couple hundred thousand, the Clams could sponsor the new trauma wing.

Multi-millionaire and hospital board president Mike Hunt said to the press, "We're excited by this new partnership. And we couldn't be more proud to unveil the plans for the new Drunken Clam Trauma Wing." Coach Simon said, "Well, we'll be more excited about it when Hua and Christiansson are able to get back on the court. But we're glad to be able to support the community with our misfortune."

Last edited by Rhymin Simon at 10/23/2012 11:08:24 PM
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