All Press Releases

Phantom Seen by Janitor in Manager's Office

1/1/2014  3 replies    

Simon Says "Goodbye" to Clams

12/15/2013  4 replies    

Eaton, Mezzetti Join Century Club

10/22/2013  4 replies    

Clams Stall in Regular Season, but Hoist Invite Trophy

9/10/2013  0 replies    

Whitmore Crashes Board(s)

5/7/2013  0 replies    

Stealing Victory from the Jaws of Defeat Stolen from the Jaws of Victory

2/23/2013  0 replies    

Campioni Headed to Italy, Clams' HOF

12/15/2012  0 replies    

Drunken Clams Thirsty for a Ssn 22 Championship

11/28/2012  1 replies    

Clams Sponsor New Hospital Wing, Thanks to Opponent Thuggery

10/23/2012  0 replies    

Clams Coast Into All-Star Break

10/9/2012  0 replies    

3x3 Goes 5x5

9/14/2012  0 replies    

Mascotball

8/3/2012  4 replies    

Clams Jettison Janky Logo

6/22/2012  2 replies    

Clams End Conference Series with Road Win at McKinney Arena

6/11/2012  0 replies    

Clams Settle into New Digs

5/31/2012  0 replies    

Clams Retool for Div. IV

5/16/2012  0 replies    

Drunken Clams Win Championship Headed for Div. IV

5/13/2012  0 replies    

Scandal Rocked Clams Go 1-1 in Championship Series

5/12/2012  0 replies    

Clams Take First Game of League V.7 Finals

5/12/2012  0 replies    

Clams Looking to Claim Trophy

4/21/2012  0 replies    

Four Clams to Represent Big 8 in All-Star Game

3/26/2012  0 replies    

Week in Review: Clams Peter Out in Prime Time

3/23/2012  0 replies    

Week in Review: USA Div. V PL Starts

3/17/2012  0 replies    

Week in Review: Clams' Cup Chances Crushed

3/9/2012  0 replies    

Clams Claim Conference Coup

3/4/2012  0 replies    

"Il Mollusco" and the S19 Clams

3/1/2012  0 replies    

Drunken Clams Franchise Created!

10/20/2011  0 replies    

Press Announcements

Clams Settle into New Digs

The Clams bid farewell last Thursday to their beloved Dundee Arena. As the League V.7 Championship banner was brought down from the rafters the town had a communal minute of silence. In a speech at the ceremony, Coach Simon was very matter of fact, "We have loved playing for the fans in this town. But as we look toward higher divisions and the economic realities of competition, it becomes clear that the hamlet of Dundee will never be able to support the kind of arena and merchandising that this team will need to continue to win at the higher levels. And so it is with gratitude for all the games we have played over our two seasons in this town that we turn the lights out one last time tonight."

Star player Italo "Il Mollusco" Campioni was much less politic when he was asked about the situation after Tuesday's heartbreaking loss to Valhalla! at home. "The Clamshell is a much more fitting place for our team and a much better showcase for my playing. The Dundee Center was just tiny and Dundee was a backwater town with only one decent bar. People only ever came there for games and to buy guns at Cabby's Hunter's Emporium. Now that we are in New Baltimore, we get more respect. And besides, there are at least three bars with a martini worth drinking. I've already got– ." The interview was interrupted when a crazed female fan's hotel room key hit Campioni in the chest, after which he told the reporter he had better things to do.

In any case, the Clams look to new successes in their new home.
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