All Press Releases

Phantom Seen by Janitor in Manager's Office

1/1/2014  3 replies    

Simon Says "Goodbye" to Clams

12/15/2013  4 replies    

Eaton, Mezzetti Join Century Club

10/22/2013  4 replies    

Clams Stall in Regular Season, but Hoist Invite Trophy

9/10/2013  0 replies    

Whitmore Crashes Board(s)

5/7/2013  0 replies    

Stealing Victory from the Jaws of Defeat Stolen from the Jaws of Victory

2/23/2013  0 replies    

Campioni Headed to Italy, Clams' HOF

12/15/2012  0 replies    

Drunken Clams Thirsty for a Ssn 22 Championship

11/28/2012  1 replies    

Clams Sponsor New Hospital Wing, Thanks to Opponent Thuggery

10/23/2012  0 replies    

Clams Coast Into All-Star Break

10/9/2012  0 replies    

3x3 Goes 5x5

9/14/2012  0 replies    

Mascotball

8/3/2012  4 replies    

Clams Jettison Janky Logo

6/22/2012  2 replies    

Clams End Conference Series with Road Win at McKinney Arena

6/11/2012  0 replies    

Clams Settle into New Digs

5/31/2012  0 replies    

Clams Retool for Div. IV

5/16/2012  0 replies    

Drunken Clams Win Championship Headed for Div. IV

5/13/2012  0 replies    

Scandal Rocked Clams Go 1-1 in Championship Series

5/12/2012  0 replies    

Clams Take First Game of League V.7 Finals

5/12/2012  0 replies    

Clams Looking to Claim Trophy

4/21/2012  0 replies    

Four Clams to Represent Big 8 in All-Star Game

3/26/2012  0 replies    

Week in Review: Clams Peter Out in Prime Time

3/23/2012  0 replies    

Week in Review: USA Div. V PL Starts

3/17/2012  0 replies    

Week in Review: Clams' Cup Chances Crushed

3/9/2012  0 replies    

Clams Claim Conference Coup

3/4/2012  0 replies    

"Il Mollusco" and the S19 Clams

3/1/2012  0 replies    

Drunken Clams Franchise Created!

10/20/2011  0 replies    

Press Announcements

Clams Looking to Claim Trophy

As the end of regular season play approaches, the Clams have begun to turn their attentions toward the post-season. With their recent win over the Los Angeles Slakrs, they have virtually clinched home court advantage throughout the playoffs. In order for the picture to change, they would have to lose today’s game to the Gregori Jaguars, as well as at least one of their last two contests to either the Ghost Dunkers or Hyper7677.

During the regular season, the Clams’ dominant defense has pounded the rest of the league into submission, allowing 252 fewer points than any other team in league. And the offense has also had success, ranking first in the conference and third in the league in points scored. Their record now stands at an impressive 18-1, with their only loss coming in what commentators have dubbed “The Primetime Choke” against Beefcake’s Firestorm.

At the time, the team treated the loss as a minor embarrassment. But it has taken on new meaning for fans and analysts alike with news of Beefcake’s Firestorm’s recent acquire of monster SG Milaim Noll from Switzerland Div. II team, Cormoret-Beach (ranked 55th nationally). The prospect of meeting the Firestorm in the finals seems to be getting closer and closer to reality. If the Firestorm wins their Tuesday game against Conference leader Memphis Libras, they will have the #1 seed in the playoffs and a virtual ticket to the finals.

Coach Simon had this to say: “We play one game at a time. And there are plenty of games before the finals. We’ve got a great team of guys here, who have done a great job in the regular season. I mean we’ve averaged 100 points per game and kept our opponents to just 64. We’ve got 8 players getting 20+ minutes per game, and 62% of our field goals are coming from assists. What that says to me is that we’ve got some unselfish guys out there. What I see here is a team effort. And that is the mark of a championship team. Of course we’ve got out scouts looking at the Firestorm, but I don’t care what they’re doing until our boys are out there on the floor schooling ‘em.”

When asked about rumors that the Clams might be looking to purchase a ringer to compete with the Firestorm, coach Simon had no comment.
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