The town of Killarney is being torn apart by the savages of the Torc Mucks Region tonight due to the outrageous outburst made by fans of Torc Colossus, who have ravaged the mountains and fields of the air-ee. This has been a domino effect ever since the basketball team was resurrected from Division 1—something that absolutely no one in the area cares about, because next Tuesday is the new parade created from pieces of cheese cooked too long inside an oven that was never plugged in.
Local mayor of the newly founded Torc Republic, and self-proclaimed doctor—a confirmed mediocre author—Arthur Burn’d’himsel has spent far too long explaining his favorite reduction of his mother’s dance recitals, due to his lack of memory ever since Torc Colossus was promoted. “And the scan showed nothing under the wrong side of it,” hummed the mayor, while donating his skins of oranges to the local peasants of the Muckross parish, who have now bonded together in their decision to wear wool fleece tops even ...