Our 1st round Worlds Schedule was revealed on Tuesday, and as soon as it reached my desk I began packing. I called up our new assistant coach, namssor, as well as our PR director, SpF, and our preliminary roster, and told them to meet me at the airport. Our destination, Poland. Warsaw, Poland to be exact, where we would land at the Warsaw Frederic Chopin Airport after a 10 hour flight.
As we waited at our gate I turned to my assistant coach and asked, “Hey Rambo, you want to give a speech or something?”
Namssor replied, “Ummm, I’m not Rambo, but okay….Alright fellas, we are off to Poland to play against the best teams the World has to offer. I know some of you have seen our schedule, and may think we ran into some bad luck. Well let me tell you something, our opponents ran into some bad luck, because they have to play us! We represent the United States of…”
Our star big man, Jairo Alejandro Renteria, interrupted, “Coach, what movie is this speech from?”
“Movie? Its not from a movie.”
“Oh.” And with that the team got in line to board the plane. SpF consoled Namssor and began working on a speech for next time.
We had to fly coach, our team plane was scrapped in the offseason because we lost our sponsor, Campbell’s Chunky Soup. They dropped us when Joe Bronson was caught on camera eating Progresso.
In the air I began thumbing through my notes. First up on Monday the 16th, we will face #2 China. Also on the schedule were our neighbors to the north, Canada, along with Morocco, #5 Spain, and the team with home court advantage, Poland.
On the flight a man seated across the aisle from me waved and tried to get my attention. He had on a cowboy hat, and was sporting a handlebar mustache that looked fake. He said in a bad southern accent, “Hello there sir, I’m just a tourist on my way to visit Poland and I noticed that you boys looked like you were from the National Team. Just so happens I may have some inside information on the skills of a certain Raul Villapadierna from Spain, if you are interested.”
SpF and I looked at each other and SpF replied, “Um wozz…is that you?”
The tourist answered, “Wozz? Who is this wozz? Do you mean wozzvt, the great manager of the NBBA’s Burlington Mountain Goats?? I’ve never heard of him.”
Jairo reached to pull the fake mustache off wozz’ face, and wozz pulled back saying, “Don’t touch it Jairo. Its off limits.”
Namssor chimed in, “That’s what she said.”
Join us in Poland…or the chat, on Monday the 16th, at 12:30PM Eastern, 9:30 AM Pacific, as we face off with #2 China.
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