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His mid-season updates

📊 Great 8 Midseason Check-In
If the Big 8 has been trench warfare, the Great 8 has been a full-on food fight—points splattering everywhere, rosters in flux, and the occasional custard pie to the face. Five of the league’s top scoring teams live here, which means the standings look more like a pinball machine than a ladder. Let’s dish out the midseason report cards.
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Wasco Tigers 🐅
The Tigers are playing like they own the jungle. League-best 357 assists, league-best 47.8% FG, and the fewest turnovers in the division. Pisano (19.8/14.8) and Sorensen anchor the paint, while Ascensão and Davis keep the gears turning. Wasco doesn’t just beat you—they starve you of possessions. The most complete team in the Great 8, and it’s no accident they’re top of the food chain.
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Kiwi Sheep Pimps 🐑
Fireworks factory. 1412 points, most in the league, and a nightly barrage led by Gaffney and Palma outside, Guaraes pounding inside. But with all that firepower comes sloppiness: turnovers and defensive leaks make sure no lead is safe. If the threes fall, they’re untouchable. If not, it’s like sheep on roller skates. Dangerous, chaotic, must-see basketball.
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Wellington Warthogs 🐗
The hogs run wild. Bunn can torch you for 38, Abrahamsohn dishes a triple-double, and they’ve broken 100 often. But efficiency is shaky, foul trouble crops up, and the bench comes and goes like Arizona weather. They’re equal parts contender and coin flip. When it clicks, Wellington looks scary. When it doesn’t, they look like they left the playbook at home.
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California Supreme 🥤
The puzzle team. On one night, Suggs drops 44 and Duarte swipes everything in sight; on another, they blow a 16-point lead in the 4th. They’ve had 8 players in double figures in a single game, but still sit sub-.500 at the break. Talent screams “semifinals,” record whispers “bubble.” At some point, Supreme has to decide if they’re contenders or just a flashy milkshake.
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Delta 9 💊
The cash kings: highest payroll in the Great 8. Olmos (18/7/8, efficiency 23.2) is an All-Star lock, Kester sprays from deep, and Bruner brings blocks. On paper? Loaded. On the court? Mid. When depth is tested, shots clang, turnovers spike, and they’re getting punked by teams with half their budget. For now, Delta looks more like bean counters than assassins.
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Llama of Wall Street 🦙
They thrive on chaos, perhaps because their payroll is so low. 92 steals (G8 best), buckets of free throws, and Babenko as their All-Star face. But efficiency is a coin toss—see the 27% shooting disaster vs MCM. When whistles blow, they hang around. When they don’t, they crash hard. Think scrappy underdog that runs full speed into a glass door every few games.
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Ferth Ozone 💨
Pure entertainment value. Peró drills five threes, Faltýnek posts a nightly 20/14, and they’ll hang 110 on anyone. The problem? They’ll give up 120 right back. Fun to watch, impossible to trust. They’re the “yeah, but…” team of the Great 8.
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The White Walkers 🧊
Their highlight of the year was scoring double digits in a fourth quarter. Winter is coming…in D.III.
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The Great 8 is a bar brawl. Wasco’s running clean sets, Kiwi’s setting off fireworks, and Cali keeps everyone guessing. Delta’s still trying to cash the checks their payroll writes, while Wellington, Ferth, and Llama each swing wildly between “upset alert” and “oops.” Second half? Expect chaos, upsets, and maybe a chair through the window.

📊 Big 8 Midseason Check-In
If the Great 8 has been a food fight, the Big 8 has been more like trench warfare—gritty, bruising, and occasionally beautiful. Juggernauts are emerging with even with big questions. Here’s to the first “half”!
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Wobbles🏀
The machine. Wobbles lead the Big 8 behind an absurd +63 rebounding margin over the last three games, powered by Samara (league leader in threes, 33 triples) and Rivera’s do-it-all lines (16/11/11 triple-double earlier this season). Even better: Er-Rai, the league’s FG% leader, will be healthy in time to start the All-Star game. They share the ball, control the glass, and punish mistakes. Everyone else in the Big 8 isn’t chasing wins, they’re chasing Wobbles.
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Meridian Hill McMornings🏰
The most balanced squad in the league. They lead the entire league in rebounding (708 boards) and have two All-Star anchors: Nash orchestrating from outside, Clemens doing a little of everything (26/18/12 triple-double). Rosenthal is steady as ever, and they grind teams down with possession after possession. Meridian doesn’t blow you away—they just slowly squeeze the air out of the game until you forget what offense feels like.
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Innovatus🚀
Talent everywhere, but consistency is another story. Zigui (24/13 averages) still dominates, and Ikoma (Japanese NT starter, 33/10 ast night) has blossomed into a star acquisition. Reese, however, can go from flamethrower to icebox in one night. They’re explosive when the perimeter clicks, but vulnerable when opponents attack inside. Innovatus is the league’s roller coaster—thrilling, terrifying, and maybe a little nauseating (especially if you’ve been high on them with FanDuel™)
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The Reductions🥱
They don’t win pretty, but they win. Râsnoveanu (league-best 16.9 rebounds) is a walking board machine, and Ying Ming can swing games when hot. Goundo has earned his spot as the sixth man. There have been highs and lows, perhaps because they’re built like IKEA furniture: somehow still standing well after you thought they would collapse.
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Tasty Tardsicles🍔
Wui Kwong dropped 37 with nine threes, Jimenez snatched 22 boards, and Lovaina posted a triple-double earlier this season. They move the ball (33 assists vs Ferth) and thrive on balanced contributions. The knock? When the outside shots don’t fall, the whole thing bogs down. They’re like my new air fryer—crispy and perfect when it’s humming…but soggy potato’s when it’s not.
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Bench Mob🪑
The ultimate “good, not great” squad. Daigle and Huffman carry scoring loads, and McFadden has held his own in the paint. But inconsistency kills them—they’ll look like giant killers one night and flat the next. Top-3 in rebounds, but efficiency lags, and turnovers add up. They’re occasionally brilliant, but half the time you forget they exist until the fourth quarter.
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BC Lituanica📉
The lights. The drama. The front office has had this squad on the trade block all season long. Pessach is still an All-Star lock, Baratović racks up assists, and Skrzypacz adds interior balance. If that trade block weren’t so big, they could be the league’s biggest wild card. Half the roster’s on the block, the other half’s checking Zillow listings in Poland.
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FR-S🚨
Zviedris is an MVP candidate, full stop: 24.8 pts, 14 reb, efficiency 31.8. He’s unstoppable inside and keeps them competitive every night. The problem? Almost no one else helps. Rocher’s has tried, but his production is too rare. Their pace is high, but efficiency is brutal. FR-S has to decide if it wants to be a fleshed out roster or just a Zviedris mixtape.
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Closing Thoughts🔮
Wobbles and Meridian look built for the playoffs, Innovatus has a ceiling as high as anyone, and Zviedris is trying to drag FR-S out of the cellar. Lit could rewrite the second half while Tasty and Reductions are scrapping to prove they belong.

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